Where, oh where?

"How did you decide which country from which to adopt?"

I am asked this question often. And I would like to explain why I answer the way I do:

I often hear and read about impassioned conversations regarding adoption that involve trying to convince prospective adoptive parents of why they "should" adopt either domestically (meaning from within the United States) or internationally. Those who have adopted domestically rightfully feel passionate about why they chose to do so. They see the need right here, in our own backyard, to provide loving, Christian homes to babies who otherwise might have been victims of abortion, neglect, abuse, etc. (To date, over 54 million American children have died due to abortion) or to children who are in foster care (over 500,000 nationwide) and who desperately need the stability of a forever family. Couples who have adopted internationally also feel passionate about their decision, even down to the "whys" of which country they chose...citing the statistics...147 million orphans, millions of victims of slavery, sex trafficking, child sacrifice, abuse, poverty, etc.

What about me? Well, my husband and I have adopted both ways, so when I hear these arguments I cringe. It is so easy for us, as Christians, to get on a soapbox and assume that, because God called "me" to adopt either internationally or domestically, it is therefore the "right" way to do it and everyone else should follow my lead if they want to be in His will.

But here is reality. God chose our children before the foundation of the world. He planned our families and determined who, when, and from where our children would come. He calls us and leads us to our children.

When we accept this and realize that we are but instruments of the Lord, then we are much more likely to walk forward in humility and encourage our friends and prospective adoptive couples to do the same. The statistics are bad for all children in need of a home. They are all at risk. But the greatest risk? It is the risk to their souls...their eternities.

Matthew 10:28
Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell.

We must remember what our number one purpose is on this earth.

It is to share the love of Jesus.

When we mix legalism in with the call to adopt, we push aside the Holy Spirit. Many of us are called to adopt, but we are not all called to the same country. We are also not all called to adopt older, younger, infant, Caucasian, trans-racially, or special needs children...but we are all called to obey the Lord's specific calling for our families.

We must put Jesus first. He is the reason we do what we do. He is the one who guides our steps and smooths the path to our children. He is the one who can use our obedience to change the life and eternal destiny of a child.

And they all deserve that.

So how did we make our decision? How do YOU make the decision?

It is an enormous task to process all the possibilities and attempt to narrow things down enough to actually start the adoption process. You can only make the decision by listening to the promptings of the Holy Spirit. Pray, pray, and pray some more. Seek the Lord and investigate all the risks, costs, statistics, and adventures of both domestic and international adoption. Look at the age, marriage, travel, and other requirements of all the countries and see where you qualify. And then continue to pray, trust His leading, and go for it.

Don't let fear, finances, or the opinions of others slow you down or tempt you to stop moving forward. If God has called you, then He has called you and He expects you to obey. Stand confident in your decision and rejoice as you see the walls come down and the path to your child (or children!) open up before your eyes.

God knows you, and He knows your heart. He knows how He has equipped you and who will best fit into your family. He knows the children already in your home and what their emotional and relational needs are. He sees the beginning and the end at the same time and already has all the details under control.

Trust Him...oh, I wish I could shout this! TRUST HIM and enjoy the ride! No matter where your children come from, whether you have an airport homecoming or a quiet arrival in the night, you will learn things about yourself and about your Father in Heaven that you would have never known any other way. Whether you bring home a newborn or a teenager, you will be brought to your knees by the experience and you will learn to depend on Him and walk in His strength as never before.