Attachment

Attachment is a word that was really foreign to me in our first four adoptions. Since they came home at 2-3 days old, our first days and years as parents were nearly identical to the first days and years of a family with biological children. Aside from our racial differences, life at home was...well, normal.

Bring on child #5.

She came home at 3 years old. And she not only had an opinion, she had attitude! We figured out early on that she was ultra charming because she was literally scared to death of being left alone. She was willing to attach to just about anyone just in case this "forever" thing didn't work out. We had to be very careful when friends came to visit, to be sure we were the ones to hold her, rock her, and reassure her that when the friends left she would not. We had to demonstrate over and over that she was here to stay, for better or worse.

One year later our dance has become more in sync. One year later I know to preemptively scoop her up in my arms when a new visitor arrives in order to head off attention-seeking behaviors at the pass. It works like a charm. I know that she thrives with rock-solid boundaries and is reassured when the rules stay the same no matter who is watching. She knows we mean what we say and say what we mean and she knows she is loved.

In the book "The Connected Child" by Karyn Purvis, attachment is referred to as a dance. And I see that now. I have not always danced well, but I have learned much. When my little girl bursts into a grin as I enter her line of sight, my heart swells with joy because I can feel the love growing between us.

Just yesterday, she had to have her 5 year immunizations. She hesitantly let the nurse draw blood and repeat that TB test with not a single tear. But the two shots in the leg? Well, they hurt. She started to sob and turned her little face into my neck for comfort.

What a sweet feeling, to hold her and rub her back and remind her of just how brave she was. As the tears subsided, she basked in the knowledge that mommy thought she was brave. Over the course of the day, she would ask me to repeat why she was brave over and over just so she could savor the feeling once again.

Attachment is a long process. It can take years to accomplish. But I see how far we have come, and how well attached she really is, and I rejoice. It is God who knits hearts together. It is God who builds our families. And it is God who turns the hearts of children to their fathers, and the hearts of fathers to their children. I am so grateful for the opportunity to, once again, see Him at work...to live out the truths of His kingdom as I prayerfully mother these five sweet gifts He has given me.

Adoption is an amazing experience...a gift that truly keeps on giving, even in the hard times. We learn so much about God's heart as we learn to take up our cross and follow Him, things that I believe I may have never been able to learn any other way.

ABORTION SURVIVOR

Did you know that these two words can be and are used in the same sentence?

Tonight my husband and I had the privilege of viewing the film October Baby which is being released in March of 2012.  This film is a powerful and moving representation of redemption in the context of today's culture. This is a story of healing and the power of forgiveness in the midst of abortion, adoption and other emotionally charged issues.

This motion picture shows the power that adoption has to give an orphan a forever family.  Sometimes it is difficult for me, as a child raised by biological parents, to understand the issues that adopted children must face.  Viewing October Baby gives insight into the mind of a struggling adopted daughter and reveals the difficulties she faces.

Adoption is one way to fight abortion, a very strong way and I am excited that 200-300 theaters will be showing this film in March.  Support the film during the opening weekend so that the truths revealed here can be spread across the world!  You will not be disappointed!

OCTOBER BABY

(click on the title above to view the trailer)

Fearless

Fear. We all face it everyday. Fear in letting our children go off to school. Fear in facing that guy at the office who belittles our very existence. Fear in not measuring up to being the parent that we know our children need us to be. Fear of not fitting in with our peers. Fear. It creeps in when you least expect it. Fear. It is often the emotion that you don't even know you are experiencing. Websters defines fear as an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.

Fear. It sometimes cripples you from being able to do what God is clearly calling you to do. Witnessing to your friend, taking that leadership role in your church, starting that charity drive, beginning the foster care process, going on that mission trip, adopting or whatever God is whispering to you. Fear...can shake you. Don't let it.

The bible says in 2 Timothy 1:7, God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline. I love this verse. It is empowering. It reminds me that God has given me a spirit of POWER, LOVE and SELF-DISCIPLINE. I can do whatever He asks with His guidance.

I love this quote by Billy Graham, Fear causes us to doubt God's promises and disbelieve His love. Fear can paralyze us and keep us from believing God and stepping out in faith. It is my fervent prayer that each of you firmly believes God's great love for you and learns to foster a spirit of fearlessness!

Blessings.

Teens and Foster Care

Another year has come and gone. Each one seems to pass much quicker than the one before. Over the past few days I have reflected on all the families that have welcomed children into their hearts and home this past year. I smile because I know their lives have been eternally changed, and it is wonderful. But I am also reminded of all the children without permanent loving homes and grieve over them not having the love and stability of a family. Why do so many suffer? Why do so many long for a family but never see this become a reality? As I watched the older children at the Rutherford County Foster Care Christmas Party (we had over 30 teens), I was saddened and felt a sense of urgency for them. Some of them will have the opportunity to be reunited with their birth families. Others will hopefully be adopted into loving, stable homes. But most will age out of the foster care system without a family to call their own.

Studies have shown that 90% of children that age out of any system in the world, including the US foster care system, will turn to a life of theft, gangs, prostitution, and drugs. Close to 30% of the children that age out of the foster care system will become homeless. Each year about 20,000 teens leave foster care, no longer a ward of the state, without a permanent family.

This year my heart is heavily burdened for the older children. The ones that are getting dangerously close to their 18^th birthday. The ones that seem to have been forgotten. My ultimate prayer is for them to know their Heavenly Father. The One who will never “leave them nor forsake them” (Deuteronomy 31:6). The One who desires to give them “hope and a future” (Jeremiah 29:11) The One who wants to adopt them into His family through His son, Jesus (Ephesians 1:5). I cannot imagine what it would have been like to navigate through my late teens and early adulthood without the guidance and direction of my parents. Will you join me in praying for these precious teenagers that so desperately need a family?

'For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD,plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.' (Jeremiah 29:11)